"Ma'am, are you comfortable taking off that sweater?"

This was a question I heard yesterday while waiting in line (a surprisingly long line) at the Fargo Airport. There was this woman who I think has never traveled on a plane before. And if she has traveled by plane, she is one of those people who thinks every time she travels it will be easy and doesn't understand what "federal rules and regulations" means.

My first notice of this woman was when she was exiting through the entrance of the security line. I was getting my boarding pass and ID checked and she clumsily bumped her way by others waiting politely in line. Apparently she didn't know the whole 4-1-1 rule (no more than 4 ounces of liquids contained in a 1 quart bag limited to 1 per passenger). She had to go to the gift store and purchase a baggie to put her liquids in. Then, on her way back into the line, she walked right by security thinking, "Since I was already checked they don't have to check me again." In any other area of life, this thought process would probably work. But this is the government we're talking about. Nothing is easy with the government. So anyway, she tries walking by the security agent again and gets yelled at. Has to go back and get re-checked.

Then, on her way back through the line, she knocks over an elderly woman's rolling carry-on bag, turns around, looks at the bag on the floor, and keeps walking (I should say walking into people, because this woman was extremely clumsy). How rude! She didn't even apologize for knocking the bag over. I would understand if we were out east, but this is Fargo, people! Have manners! How are we supposed to maintain that "Minnesota Nice" if we aren't actually nice? By the way, I understand that Fargo is not in Minnesota, but Fargo has the whole "Nice" thing going on, too. The poor elderly woman just sort of looked down at the bag, realized this woman was not going to help her set the bag up right and was not going to apologize. She just had this sort of "Did that really just happen?" look on her face.

So next, this woman gets to her spot in line and eventually gets to the X-ray machine and metal detector. When she was about to go through the metal detector, the TSA agent realized the woman was still wearing her shoes, a big scarf, and a long sweater-dress. First she instructs the woman to take her shoes off. Then goes the scarf. Then she asks if she's comfortable removing her sweater... but the woman doesn't hear the question about the sweater. So she asks again, and again. Then an agent at the X-ray machine yells to the woman, "Will you please take your sweater off?" So she does. And now she's able to go through the machine. And, you guessed it, she sets the machine off. Goes back through. Still beeping. The agent asks her to take her jewelry off but the woman is insisting it's not her huge chunky metal necklace that's the problem. Eventually she's persuaded to take off the necklace and -- voila!-- she can now go through the detector with no problems.

GOOD LORD! When I go on vacation I don't even wear metal things to the airport. I try to stay as simple as possible. Easy shoes. Easy layers (if I wear layers at all). Little to no jewelry. And I don't forget about my liquids baggie!

One thing I would like to know is since when did TSA agents start asking, "Do you feel comfortable taking off your....?" Why even give the option? I went through security once in flip-flops and had to take those off. Which meant I had to walk around the security area in care feet. Gross! I told the agent I didn't want to be in bare feet because it was disgusting to get other people's germs on me (I'm not a germophobe, I promise!) but he still made me do it. I don't feel comfortable taking my belt off sometimes (makes me feel like I'm about to be really exposed) but I still have to (although I don't wear belts through security anymore). If a terrorist went through security with a bomb strapped to his chest would he be given the option to take it off or leave it on if it made him "more comfortable?" A little outlandish, I know... but do you see where I'm going with this? I wonder, had that woman been of a different color, would she have been asked so politely about the sweater? Or would it have been a command: "Ma'am, take off your sweater."

I'm just still amazed by the stupidity some people show when it comes to airport security. Plan ahead, people! Plan ahead.