Love and Running (not a love of running)

I have a lot on my mind tonight... but it's that state of mind where there's a lot going on but you can't get it out into words. I feel anxious but I don't know why. I want to change but I don't know how. I want to do something but I don't know what that something is.

I just finished watching "He's Just Not That Into You" and I really liked it. Jerry watched most of it with me and I have to admit there were a number of times that I wanted to turn to him and say, "Is that how you feel/felt about me?" or "Is that true about guys?" but I resisted, which I am sure he's very happy about. I have to agree with the idea in the movie that it's just so odd that we tell our kids that if someone is mean to them it means that person has a crush on them (sorry for that horribly constructed sentence). I think this idea we tell our kids sets us/them up for failure. And what's the whole thing about who calls whom. If you like someone, why don't you just call and get that whole awkward part over with?

I'm really not one to talk about dating. I had one boyfriend in high school and early in college. I thought we were going to get married. I thought I was in love with him and that he was "the one." I told myself I was so lucky to find the love of my life so early on with no hassle. Ha! After we broke up I decided I was never going to get married --ever! I thought he was it for me and clearly (in my mind at that time) if it wasn't him it wasn't going to be anyone. Isn't it amazing how we talk ourselves into these things? I wasn't miserable in that relationship but, to be honest, half the time I was in the same room as the guy I was embarrassed or annoyed by him. And I thought that was love! Actually, I decided it was "love" Christmas of our senior year in high school. One day when I was at his house I got this overwhelming feeling of wanting to decorate him Christmas tree when we were adults. So, like any rational person would do, I concluded it was true love. Weird, huh?

Fast forward about 3.5 years from that time, and I met Jerry. What was great about dating Jerry is that we decided very early on that we were only going to be 100% honest with each other. No games, no lies or fibs, just honesty--even if it meant being a little harsh at times. And we never had the "When is he going to call me back?" issues like in the movie. After our first date we were inseparable. It wasn't until I started dating Jerry that I realized the "love" I had for my high school boyfriend wasn't love at all... it was just "like." It was teenager feelings. I was in love with the idea of being in love, so I made myself believe I was in love. Jerry was the one who really showed me how to love and be loved.

Okay, this is starting to sound a little sappy and weird... so I'll stop. On another note, I ran another 5K yesterday! I ran the YMCA Chase Race with my friend Laura and I improved on my time from the Fargo Marathon 5K by over 1:30! I was surprised to see I improved because the race felt horrible as I was doing it. I felt so bad and kept saying to Laura, "Go ahead if you want, I'm sorry if I'm slowing you down." But she insisted the pace was good. I'm a slow runner and I can't run very well. On a treadmill I can go for (what seem to me) long periods of time, but running outside in the elements makes me want to cry. I can hardly run for a minute before I feel like a need a walking break. Yuck! And speaking of the elements, we had some serious ones last night. The race was scheduled to start at 7 p.m. and it started raining around 4 p.m. By 6:30 we had a serious thunderstorm tearing through downtown Fargo. By 7 p.m. the rain had let up a bit and we started 15 minutes late. We ran the whole way in the rain but it felt good and kept us cool.

I think my next race will be the Scheel's 5K in July (I think?!). My goal is to be able to run a 5K without walking. Once I've reached that goal I'll work on my pace. My legs are just too dang short to be able to run very fast and have a good stride. So, we'll see how that goes. I've also decided to lose about 15 pounds and I've set some goals to help myself achieve that. One I lose 5 I'm going to get a spray-on tan (no skin cancer for me!), when I lose 10 I'm going to look into getting eyelash extensions, and when I lose the whole 15 I'm going to get a boob job (JUST KIDDING!). I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do at 15 pounds because I'm afraid you'll judge me. Okay, I want to get Botox between my eyes. I squint so much in the summer that I have a perma-wrinkle there and tan lines in the wrinkle creases! Botox is being used more now for the prevention of wrinkles on young people (like me!) and I figure I could give it a shot (haha, get it? Shot!). It only lasts a handful of weeks so if I don't like it, it will go back to normal in time.

Okay, off to bed. Good night everyone!

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22-Hour Vacation!

I know, I know... it's been a long time since my last update. I'm a horrible person. But, really, are you surprised?

In the last (almost) month since I posted lots of stuff has happened. Notably, Jerry and I went to Florida-- for 22 hours. Our dear friends Lezlee Johnson and Sean Bertie got married in Marco Island on May 16 so we decided to go down there and surprise them (we were invited, don't worry-- but we RSVP'd no because we didn't really realize we could make the trip work until about a week beforehand). We had an amazing time and feel blessed to have been a part of their special day. We send all the best the Sean and Lezlee.

The reception was a couple weeks later in Fargo-- also a blast!! Jerry couldn't make it but I went and represented (WORD) and danced on stage (don't worry-- it was okay the band encouraged it). All I have to say is that the next day was painful. Yuck.

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The Mysterious Rash Returns... and I ran a 5K!!!

Yep... it's back. To make a long story short:
-Took a steroid prescription while in Vegas
-Rash came back after I finished that prescription
-Went to dermatologist at end of March. He says I'm probably allergic to ibuprofen and other non-steroidal drugs
-I stop taking Advil and rash seems to diminish
-Start taking Tylenol, rash comes back
-Fill a prescription given to me by dermatologist. Prescription makes rash WORSE!
-Go back to derm. for biopsy, wait one week for results.
-I have urticarial vasculitis. Not sure what that means.
-Doc orders blood and urine tests.

Now I'm waiting to hear back on those tests. I think they're testing for Lupus, among other things, as urticarial vasculitis can be associated with Lupus and other rheumatoidal conditions.

In other news... I ran the Fargo Marathon 5K!!! And I'm so proud of myself! My mom is a marathon runner and I've grown up cheering on runners at various marathons across the state and volunteering at local races that my mom has helped direct. Something I'd never done was actually participate in a race. As a freshman in college, I set a goal to run a marathon before I graduated... and clearly that didn't happen.

About 2.5 weeks before the Fargo Marathon I found myself on the Web site and decided just to sign up for it (the 5K, not the full, OMG!). I trained as much as I could and set a goal of 45 minutes to complete it (although my secret goal was 40 minutes). I figured this would allow me to walk in case I thought I was going to die. With the help of my mom who ran with me and kept me motivated, I finished in 37:26... and totally beat my goal! Woo hoo!

Running it made me feel so good that I decided to run at least one 5K each month this summer. The next one I'm planning to run is the YMCA Chase Race 5K in June. Wish me luck and come run with me if you want!!

On a final note, today is really my last official day as an instructor at NDSU. My students have all turned in their portfolios and now I just need to read and grade them. And then my time at NDSU (for now, at least) is over. Speaking about that grading thing... time to do that.

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Well, hello again!

Wow! It's been a while since I last updated... and by a while I mean a LONG time. Sorry about that. As I'm sure most of you already know, we were dealing with serious flooding here in the Red River Valley. I'm going to blame everything on the flood, including my lack of posts. So, let's catch up, shall we?

The last time we really talked I was about to leave for Las Vegas. We had such a fun time! I had never been there before so everything was new and cool and fun! It was great seeing things I had only seen on TV and identifying with them. The weather was beautiful, the hotel was stunning and I won $300! I would give events and attractions in Las Vegas an A -- because it is so fun to rate things on a graded system, isn't it?

I do have to say, however, that the service would earn a D in Vegas. I was so disappointed! It's like these people don't work for tips. They just didn't understand the idea of guest interaction and quick service. Now, I'm not saying that I went to a sit down restaurant and wanted a fast meal, because there are certainly times when I'm okay with waiting for my food. But the first night we got there we had a LATE dinner at one of the restaurants in the Bellagio (it was called FIX). We waited about 15 minutes before anyone even SHOWED up to our table (at least we were seated quickly)!! Once we were greeted by our waiter everything else (drinks, food, the bill) took a long time considering the place was quiet and most people that were in there were just having drinks and no food.















This wasn't an isolated incident. Over and over again I was amazed at how poor service all over the Las Vegas Strip was. Not impressed! The wait staff was nice enough but just extremely SLOW... and then when it was time for the bill it was like they couldn't get you out fast enough (I get that on the profit side of things, but is it necessary to make us feel like we're getting kicked out?).















I would definitely go back to Vegas because it was fun apart from the service. Some fun things we did included Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum, Blue Man Group, and Ka (a Cirque du Soleil Show) -- all very impressive! We walked a TON every day and wound up with some painful feet. There was a point when I thought my arch had fallen. SO PAINFUL! But we're fine now!

I've included some pics. The first one is the view of the Bellagio water fountain from our room. Next is me and Jerry before we left (AWWWW), and the third one is Jerry trying to pay Jenna Jamison to.... not sure what he wants to do with her.... (WAX FIGURE, people!!).

Next update will come soon and will be about the flood (or maybe not... I think we're all ready to MOVE ON!!).

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Flood Diary Part 2!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I_r5Cso5QU

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Flood 2009

Check out my video blog as the great Red River Flood of 2009 progresses...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-q4HwSOXxg

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Vegas, baby!

We're going to Las Vegas this week and I am so excited!

I've never been to Vegas before but I've heard lots of good (and bad) things. Most people that I've talked to recently about the trip say things like, "It's a fun place," "It's like a playground for adults," or, "Seriously? You've never been?"

We're staying at the Bellagio, which I only know from scenes from Ocean's 11 CSI. This coming Friday is my birthday and that night we're going to a Cirque du Soleil show... I think it's the new show but I'd be a bad person to ask because I really have no clue what's going on. I really don't care what we do while we're there, but I'm not too keen on gambling. I just look at all the money/chips and think about all the other things I could be doing with that money (spa, dinner, bills, savings...).

If you have any tips/advice on Vegas, I'd love to hear it! We leave Tuesday evening.

In other "news," I've been having some writer's block issues lately. This past week at work I had to write some copy for a direct mail piece for a chiropractor. Doesn't sounds too hard but it was! I couldn't get into it. I couldn't communicate what the chiropractor wanted. It was frustrating.

I've also been stuck on issues for the blog. I can't ever think of things to write about. Or, if I do think of something, it's at an extremely inconvenient time or place and when I sit down to write, I can't remember what the idea was! I could easily make this blog just a recount of what happened to me during the past X number of days, but I think it would be boring. When I started blogging it was about interesting or funny things that had happened... not just everyday things. And now nothing interesting OR funny is happening in my life.... hm... oh well.

If you're wondering about what ever happened to my skin issues... it got worse before it got better. Without going into detail, on Friday the rash came back to my hands and wrists, and then traveled up my arms, then jumped to my feet, and then ran up my legs to my hips, and then stopped on my back. Thursday night from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. I watched the rash envelop my body. And I called Ask-A-Nurse. She told me to go to the E.R. I didn't. I went to bed and woke up the next morning with the rash 99% gone! But then it came back. So Jerry and I went to Urgent Care at MeritCare in Fargo. Told the doctor I wasn't convinced it was an allergy and wanted answers.

"Do I have Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever?"

"I see you've been on the Internet. No, you don't have Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever."

"I Googled this rash and the three options are Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, syphilis, or meningitis."

"Well, you don't have any of those."

"Thank God!"

He seemed to think it was a virus of some sort and prescribed me MORE steroids (in pill form this time) that I started this morning. Oh, I also went to the NDSU health center on Friday (before the rash got to my legs) and the doctor there told me to take some Zyrtec which didn't work at all.

Hopefully 4th time's a charm...??

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